Againz

Again and again...

Time and again...

You've never stop haunting me.

Why don't you just leave me alone when I'm with my friends?

Why do you keep haunting me whenever I wanted to mix around?

Just buck off will you?

Gosh, tell me what am I gonna do to overcome all these. It's been years. Ever since I stepped out from my house. It's haunting me wherever I go. I really can't sit still with a cup of coffee and bragging with my friends. I'm totally a total-mute. I can only stare into the distance, morosely. Within seconds, my smile will be gone.

Friends, I'm really bad at words. I'm bad at spontaneous interactions. Forgive me. I really can't brag cause I've never sit in a crowd and brag along with others. Forgive me. That's why I say that I'm autistic. I'll never mix coz I don't know how. I'll never talk coz I always hurt people with my unintentional sarcastic remarks. I can only talk when people talk to me. Or else... I'll seal up my mouth. Really envy those who can just talk about anything, just anytime. Ar ar... Frankly, I can say that I can only present things to people but NEVER, chit-chatting and fooling around.

Friends here are really great but the problem lies with me. Heck. Why am I so stubborn? Nana Lana should comes out instead of that idiot Jacklyn. Man oh man... I miss the stage where Nana Lana belongs to. I miss the time when Nana Lana really showed her true-self. Nanaaaa...... I miss MTB days... Exhausting but everything was just so amazing and well worth it!

I shouldn't be blogging right now. I know I shouldn't but I just couldn't resist myself from opening this page to post something up. I wished I've never gotten myself a laptop. Man, it's driving me crazy. How can I clean up these mess(-es)? How can I put up the pieces together? How can I patch things up?

I wish to go back to Desaru and shout to the sea like what I did months ago. Arghhh...

It's not right. I've got to do something. But not now. You're just busy enough to bother about me now. I'm busy too. I've got tons of useless notes to KISS. To HUG. Man, I don't see any reason for me to be here again. Againz. The thoughts are haunting me again. Oh no.....

The diagram above shows a few symptoms of something but if you do really study them, you'll know what I mean...

It might not be that serious but if I do carry on being like the way I am now, I'm afraid that sooner or later I might just... really end up being...

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Arghhh.... Slap me, bash me up, will you???

*** DING DONG BELL ***