Sweat Your Heart Out!

Sweat Sweat Sweat!

I like it when you sweat your heart out when you're feeling sick!

The more you sweat, the more comfortable I'm feeling...

So, sweat your heart out!

gaga...

Went to PKU today~ The doctor really shocked me with her sudden "action". Duh... Should hv informed me mah~ apalahhh...

Watched my Tasbih Cinta while waiting for Stephy to get her checkup done since I was done pretty earlier~apalah... Dr. betul betul tau check ke? Ishhh... It seemed like I was the one blabbing all the way through telling her how I was feeling inside~ Behhh...

Just hope to get better.

The sicker I get, the more I have to give up! Oh gosh....

They never knew the reasons ; they were trying to draw the finishing line for me. But they never really know. Perhaps, it's better this way. Sicked. I am, I guess I am happy now. XD

Beh tahan! Good Night for the day! Shall consume my DRUGSSSSSSSSSSSS now~ duh...

Thoughts

Just a little or two thoughts that have been depressing deep within me these (TWO) days.

It's sorta a lil bit different from what it used to be.

I don't know.

Who are really "The One(s)" I can turn to?

For last sem, I've found "The One" whom I can really shed my tears with. I cherish her. I do. But I don't really portray it. I wanna change her to be more outgoing so that she can mix with the others.

For the "others", I'm having my doubts now. Of whom I can really trust. Of whom I can turn to. Perhaps, keeping it all to myself is the best thing.

The "eyes". Sort of dismantling me into thousands and millions of pieces. I'm speechless.

If you're asking me whom do I belong to, sorry, I can't give you an answer 'coz I don't even know myself. Being neutral is the best thing, EVER.

I just wanted to have a carefree socialization. Wanted everybody to be happy. No hatred. I just want it to be. I'll be looking forward.

Changes to a better tomorrow. Perhaps.

Stupiak Me

Instead of coalescing myself with BioChem notes, the subject which I've been lagging behind in this semester, I've actually dug out the CD of Memories. Alright, lame. Okay, now I've realised... I've been trying to avoid them. I've been isolating myself from them so much that made me afraid of seeing them any sooner days. Maybe I was selfish. Maybe I just need a whole new environment, a whole new situation to create something new for us. Perhaps the perception they have in their minds are set. No more room for a change in that. But I DO hope they can just accept me for who I am and not from where I've come from. Is That Possible?

S.O.S. I NEED a Breather Desperately!

Perhaps I was monopoly-ing things...

Perhaps I shall share the burdens...

Perhaps I shall let loose of things...

Perhaps I shall have trust in people...

Perhaps I shall refrain myself from the pressures...

Perhaps I shall let off steam and work out stress...

Perhaps I shall numb myself...

Perhaps I shall...

Let it go...

Been really crazy an outta my mind lately... Yet again, am deprived of a good sleep, of adequate rest. Although I did not volunteer for the leader of each assignment, but I was like monopoly-ing things in order to have it like what and how I wanted them to be. Damn. Okayz. It was all, nothing but for the sake of "us".


I, shall STOP monopolying.


I need someone competent in my next assignment, next semester in order to stop having all those stupidious headaches that have been haunting me this semester. That was why I flared up when she told me that she couldn't find any info(s) for my ANIMALS Assignment, yes, I, scolded "friend" for the very first time, right FACE-To-FACE without giving faces. Yea, no doubt. I deny if I was in the wrong. I've told her I need everything by last week right before I went back to JB during the Maulidur Rasul break. She, still have the nerves to tell me that her info(s) have all been eradicated by the "sudden" VIRUS ATTACK!!! Can't she just proceed in recovering back those info(s) from the same sources with just a click on the mouse in such a high-tech world like TODAY??? Biu.....!!!

I ATTACK you baru tau!!!

Yesterday, the whole day, I was having a severe headache, making me having discomforting nausea-like-feeling... Coming to the NIGHT-time, it was totally unbearable and yet, I went for the HE discussion and when I was just about to leave my room, I spotted something wrong with the data. Oh, come on, don't anybody check it at all??? Why was it only me who spotted it? Shyt. It wasn't my part too. Why the heck did I, the only one who saw it and not you (plural) ??? Shyty Shyt Shyt.


I somehow curbed the anger, remained in silence while editting it during the discussion. You people may realize that I was really not in the right manner, the used-to-be-J during normal discussions. Sorry.


Man, I need a breather.


I need, a competent LEADER for my coming up next semester assignmentSSSSS....


Perhaps I need a competent partner*ship in the near future too. :P

Big Sighhh...

This is absolutely INSANE...

Don't blame me if we've ever taken the wrong path...

Don't ever blame me if we do ever have to re-do everything...

I get no opinions, no feedbacks, no comments from you people, so, don't you ever blame me for the outcome since you have all, remained ignorant, without giving me any final say.

And you, please do guide through. It seems like you're doing your part without sharing your views or anything. Perhaps, I shouldn't have created this group at all... AT ALL COST...

Noone can ever be the substitute of the ones I've worked with back in my Secondary School Days...

This is just, so totally disappointing... I wished I could fly back to those DAYS...

Bad Omen???

I have no idea why I've dreamt of it! A totally absurd dream. I wonder which dream nerve made me dreamt about the death of "a" used-to-be-high school-good-friend of mine of the same class. Bad omen, I suppose. There was even another message sent to me by another used-to-be-good-friend too, telling me about the bad news and informing about the coming up gathering on the 29th of February??? Oh man, that's just so IMPOSSIBLE!!! Okay, perhaps I was just getting too paranoid of what's bothering me these days summated with the obnoxious mindset of mine., plus, the stupiak Biochem result and the sudden Cell Physiology & Neuromuscular System Test... Duhhh...

Shoot Me Please...

Damn me, it's ANATOMY Paper for tomorrow and yet I'm digging out this thingie thing out from my mini box hidden deep inside my wardrobe!!! Gosh, I should be studying and flooding my miniature brain with ANATOMY instead of blogging here about my stupidious emo. Why am I taking it out man? It's crazy and I ain't knowing why. It's a pity for, I've never worn it before. I was not given the chance to. My request was accepted and yet it was undone. I shouldn't have requested it. Damn it. Maybe it shall be in the rubbish dump now instead of living in my cutie BOX. Bubu. Sighhh...

Wei, ANATOMY PAPER LAR!!!

GO AWAY FROM HERE LAR!!!

GO STUDY LAR!!!

CAN'T STUDY???

GO SLEEP LAR!!!

Okay, Okay!!!

GO SLEEP NOW!!!

zzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

UnAnswered

There's a lot of Questions for me to ask from a lot of people existing around me but I can never ask them for, I would never want to hurt people's feeling nor am I going to hurt myself with stupidious act ever again.

This is the only question I'll be asking FOR FUN here...

(BBI 2412 : Compound or Complex Sentence??? Wahaha!!!)

Hence, I'll be keeping it all deep into my soul. Censored.

This is a very, superly, ulterly, outrageously random post anyways. To somehow saying a BIG-HI before my Biochemistry Test later at 8.30a.m. Hope that everything goes smoothly babes...

Gambateh to those who will be sitting for it in the same hall as me! Woots Woots!

Inaudible Squeaks

No updates for saying Bye-Bye-Bye to Year 2008, and shall I welcome Year 2009 with my inaudible ushers?

Duh… It’s not my year, it’s just not my day. Every year, I would just sit at home and watch Singapore’s channel for their countdown in Vivocity… With lotsa hot celebrities belting out some funky new year songs or just any popular poppy sexy songs. Haahaa. That will be all I’ll be doing for welcoming every single brand new year for a brand new beginning.

This year, it’s totally boring for me. Did not join my peers for the countdown at Bukit Bintang nor staying awake for the new year! Yea, I slept before midnight. I slept on the 31^st of December 2008 and not the 1^st of January 2009! Wahaha! Crapz.

Wishes for the year? I carved them on the balloons in Singapore man! Heehee! Hope that they’ll be realised.

Okay, been out lately. Spent a lot. I shall control splurging on unnecessary stuffs now. A must. Tomorrow will be my last outing with my peers until this semester ended. Is that possible? Try me. If I broke my word for that, come on, pinch me till I bleed. Whoaaa… If only you DARE to… Wakaka.

Really, see, I really got no mood to blog ady. Man, gosh, cat, dog, chicken, cow, goat, bubu! I wanna see how my Mondays will be like… A total torture.

I wanna see when I’m gonna faint.

I wanna see how it feels like having to attend lectures with seniors.

Wakaka. Ewww…..

Insanity # 02

Eh yooo....

I'm going insane...

This insanity is driving me out of my mind...

This boringness is really KILLING me...

Kuakuakua...

Somebody...

Please add some spices in my life...

I need to go back there, with an AIM !!!

Here, I ain't getting any determination!

Whooshhhhh.....

P/S : To go or NOT to go? (am I "ELIGIBLE" for it? -pa-pa- mah... am I acceptable???)

Ahaz Ahaz...

Here I am againz dude...

Something just came up in my mind and I was like "prop prop prop", wanting to post this up.

Funny, as I'm Chinese-illterate, it's difficult or rather, am totally ignorant of what my Chinese-peers-cum-bloggers write in their post and yet, I "followed" their blogs. Haha. I guess it's time for me to somewhat, learn a little bit or two by getting myself engrossed in learning Chinese huh.

Well, this is my little cutie pie back home, wahaha, I still owe her a Birthday present! But soon, you'll get that!

Hope that she'll follow my parents down from JB to pick me up this time round and eh heh, then, we'll probably go Genting. Wakaka.

See how things turn out first thou.

Againz

Again and again...

Time and again...

You've never stop haunting me.

Why don't you just leave me alone when I'm with my friends?

Why do you keep haunting me whenever I wanted to mix around?

Just buck off will you?

Gosh, tell me what am I gonna do to overcome all these. It's been years. Ever since I stepped out from my house. It's haunting me wherever I go. I really can't sit still with a cup of coffee and bragging with my friends. I'm totally a total-mute. I can only stare into the distance, morosely. Within seconds, my smile will be gone.

Friends, I'm really bad at words. I'm bad at spontaneous interactions. Forgive me. I really can't brag cause I've never sit in a crowd and brag along with others. Forgive me. That's why I say that I'm autistic. I'll never mix coz I don't know how. I'll never talk coz I always hurt people with my unintentional sarcastic remarks. I can only talk when people talk to me. Or else... I'll seal up my mouth. Really envy those who can just talk about anything, just anytime. Ar ar... Frankly, I can say that I can only present things to people but NEVER, chit-chatting and fooling around.

Friends here are really great but the problem lies with me. Heck. Why am I so stubborn? Nana Lana should comes out instead of that idiot Jacklyn. Man oh man... I miss the stage where Nana Lana belongs to. I miss the time when Nana Lana really showed her true-self. Nanaaaa...... I miss MTB days... Exhausting but everything was just so amazing and well worth it!

I shouldn't be blogging right now. I know I shouldn't but I just couldn't resist myself from opening this page to post something up. I wished I've never gotten myself a laptop. Man, it's driving me crazy. How can I clean up these mess(-es)? How can I put up the pieces together? How can I patch things up?

I wish to go back to Desaru and shout to the sea like what I did months ago. Arghhh...

It's not right. I've got to do something. But not now. You're just busy enough to bother about me now. I'm busy too. I've got tons of useless notes to KISS. To HUG. Man, I don't see any reason for me to be here again. Againz. The thoughts are haunting me again. Oh no.....

The diagram above shows a few symptoms of something but if you do really study them, you'll know what I mean...

It might not be that serious but if I do carry on being like the way I am now, I'm afraid that sooner or later I might just... really end up being...

* ( _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ) *

Arghhh.... Slap me, bash me up, will you???

*** DING DONG BELL ***

Desperate Desire [On Hold]

Okay now,

I don't bother much about what people think or do.

All I know,

I'll just hold on to my desperate desire.

I'll hold on tight to my threshold...

Until I get back to my JB...

Nothing matters now...

If you know me,

You'll know what's my

MOST DESPERATE DESIRE

in life...

***Merajuk***

2 more weeks to go...

Ridiculously Ridiculous

1 person, 2 tables!

Ridiculous!

*ME*

1 person 8 seats!

Ridiculous!

*ME*

- in da library lo -

Batam in Singapore???

Ridiculous!

*ME*

How could I take Batam as in Singapore instead of Indonesia?

*OMG*

*Ridiculously Ridiculous*

*Post of the day*

*RIDICULOUS*

Random

1. That voice was "man-ly".

2. I like that voice.

3. This song, "Wherever You Go" is by "The Calling".

4. That voice can sing this song.

5. I love this song.

6. I love that voice.

7. In conclusion, I LOVE that voice singing this song.

???????????????????

1. It's raining now.

2. The rain is like cats and dogs now.

3. Cats and dogs are hiding in some corner.

4. Cats and dogs are preventing themselves from getting wet.

5. Emilia is here. (invinsibly)

6. Emilia possessed into Nana's body.

7. Emilia wanna sings.

8. Emilia's singing.

9. Nana's singing.

10. They're singing... "BIG BIG WORLD"

Boredom Post

See what I've caught yesterday evening! I mean the picture that I've snapped in the library's Ladies! Nothing special though. This little creature just appeared in front of me and so, a-ka-cha, there I go, snapped it!

Argh....so many to read yet so little time....

Argh....

Am going insane, still wondering if I do want to go to the Mines or MidValley (of course alone, haha!) this coming Friday or not. Sigh... Probably not due to the hectic self-study schedule. Bubu!

Here you go, the compositions of a drug which I've been consuming these few days...

Kuakuakua....

1. Syrup

2. Mel

3. Bulbus Fritillaria Cirrhosa

4. Radix Glycyrrhiza Glabra

5. Aqua Armeniacea

6. Folium Eriobotrya Japonica

7. Radix Polygala Tenuifolia

8. Flos Tussilago Farfara

9. Exocarpium Citrus Grandis

10. Radix Platycodon Grandiflorum

11. Radix Adenophora Tetraphylla

12. Poria Cocos

13. Rhizoma Pinelliae Preparatum

14. Semen Trichosanthes Kirilowii

15. Rhizoma Zingiberis Recens

16. Mentholum

17. Semen Prunus Armeniaca

18. Fructus Schisandra Chinensis

Hahaha!

Hahaha!

As if I know all of them... Bubu... okay, just a stupid post of mine for the day.

My attitute is getting from worst to sorriest-worst... Sorry if you (plural) do get offended in any ways... I really can't widen my lips to give a big smile and I ain't brave enough to initiate any "HI THERE" when I see you people. I'm back to the same old me though. An introvert. But once you get high with me in a conversation, I'll really get engrossed and talk but if you ain't triggering my wills to speak, gosh, I'm really a terrible MUTE. This applies to anyone who knows me.

Okay, I know this is bad. But this is ME.

Puzzled

A sense of discomfort that you're giving me. I don't feel close to you like before any longer. The gap between us is drifting us apart even further away. I seeked help from you. I talked to you. I smiled to you. But, something is just not right. I don't know why.....

Maybe the weirdo me made you jump into some sorts of inaccurate perceptions of me in you. Maybe you've mistaken that I don't appreciate your help. But, you gotta know, I don't express myself. I'm living in my own world.

At times, I really felt like having a secret-room to myself where I can SHUT myself from the world outside.

All the friends I thought I could be close to, seemed like getting drifted away, far away from me. I have no idea of why. Their characters, their personalities, are just totally the opposite of mine. No one fits perfectly into my square.

I'm a loner. I know a few loners too. Loner can talks well with another loner. But there's still a gap. Ishhh.... Troublesome lar loners.

I said I'm happy here, yes, at times.

I'm lonely, yes, when I hide away from them.

I'm crazy, yes, indeed as how I'm feeling right now!

No mood to study man. Seriously. I don't enjoy all these craps. Craps. Craps which are driving me into a corner of boredom.

If I do have the chance, I wanna run away from here, I would run away to pursue the real desire of mine. Unfortunately, I'm stucked here, somewhere in the middle. I'm trapped. Be optimistic? Sorry, many optimists meet failures too. Failures made them learn better? Sorry, not all.

JUST SHUT UP NANA LANA !!!!!

YOU'RE A PEST !!!

YOU'RE IRRITATING !!!

GET LOST !!!

---------------> but i'll still be back for the next post... bubu!

I'm INDEED BORED!!!

I WANT K but... I'll never get to sing this songs which I've attached with this blog!RedBox just doesn't offer these songs, neither do Neway. GreenBox? No idea as it's a sub-color for RedBox. Keke. Insane.



Now, something light...



Hapeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee For Alwayzzzz!


*winks*

FLOOD!!! Out of boredom!!!

I cried suddenly, I cried silently, I cried again...

Woke up early yesterday and did some readings. After sometimes, I sent out a Birthday-sms to my Dad. He replied something and tears were flowing ceaselessly and uncontrollably out from my eyeballs. Gosh, I don’t miss home. I must not miss home! How am I supposed to hold on for 4 years if I were to miss home? I must be strong no matter what. When they asked, I said “NO” but deep inside, you’ll never know! Times and again, I don’t express myself in good ways. I don’t know what’s wrong with me either.

After a while, he sent me a sms again, telling me it was my Chinese Lunar Birthday yesterday! Asking me to cook myself any mee, Maggi Mee will do as well, oh man... Lagilah, the tears... While trying to get myself Maggi Mee, Dinosaur or a new nick she gave herself, “Godzilla”, came out from her room and we’ve decided for a Mid-Valley hunt-out.

Stupid middle-aged Malay Uncle, disgusting enough to get so close to me from behind with his thingie thing in the KTM. Bueks! I tried hard enough to curl my body you’ll never know how I did that until you get to see it, wahaha! Funny but it was the only way I tried to avoid him!

Once we reached there, we set a time to meet and then, shoooooo, off we went for our own shoppings! Yeah, individual-shopping. I love that! That’s when I get a time of my own to shop for things that I’ve wanted! Guess what, I’ve spent like hours in Watson looking out for something! And *ta-da*, I’ve bought myself a gift to pamper myself although my real ang-moh birth date is still far away!!! Wahaha! Oh ya, before all that shoppings of mine, I did went for a mee-treat! So pathetic hoh? Bo-bian lar. Wakaka!

I’ve explored the whole Mid-Valley and I almost get myself to The Gardens! However, time does not allows me to and so, I went to Carrefour and met up with Dinosaur. Heehee!

*** minimanihom ***

Ar, actually, I’ve just finished my TITAS presentation and went off blogging in the lecture hall while another group’s giving their presentations. Heehee! How rude of me! I hate myself man, my Malay language s*cks now! Oh my God, it’s so rotten that I’ve actually having the difficulty to swallow every single word. Wakaka! No lah, not that exaggerating man. I just did it so fast that I think anybody could hardly catch my word. I wonder how will the rest of my days be later on!

Am I happy? I know I’ll be depressed if the greetings were not approved but I ain’t happy nor overjoyed that they were actually approved! In facts, I’m kinda in a bad-dy mood. I guess my great-aunt will call me soon. She’s always like that, accurate enough! Call on me on the right time man! So right that I’ve totally concede defeat! Okay, fine, make me feel better with your capabilities. Wakaka!